lørdag den 30. oktober 2010

A Red Plastic Rake

Many of you seemed to like my Thursday photo, and when I posted it, I thought there must be a story in it.
There was. Exactly 100 words which is called a ´drabble´.




The little girl was paddling in the small pool in the park, playing with her toy rake. She had her new wellies on. She trampled in the shallow water and spirited her footprints away with the rake.

”Do you like playing in the water?”

She nodded cautiously. She couldn´t see him, just hear the voice from the shadows.

”I have a much larger pool at home.” He left the bushes and squatted near her. When he smiled, he looked like a wrinkled apple, and her mother laughed and waved at them.

She dropped her red rake somewhere in the shrubbery.

14 kommentarer:

Maxine sagde ...

That's good - very sinister overtones!

Margot Kinberg sagde ...

Dorte - Oh, what a great Drabble!!! This story is so eerie, in just a few sentences. I love it!!

Dorte H sagde ...

Maxine and Margot: I just finished a thick bunch of essays - this drabble was what made me survive the afternoon!

Kelly sagde ...

Amazing how much can be conveyed in 100 words!! Very good!! (and creepy!)

Rob Kitchin sagde ...

Dorte, very good and evocative. Also interesting to learn about drabbles. Must have a go some time. Would also be interesting to have a go at drabble book reviews.

Dorte H sagde ...

Kelly: I know I would also feel it was creepy if I read it - it´s quite different to write it.

Rob: thank you. And of course it takes extra time to hit exactly 100 words; still, it is not as time consuming as a longer story so it suited my Saturday perfectly.

Jose Ignacio Escribano sagde ...

Excellent Dorte, just love it.

Clarissa Draper sagde ...

That's a very scary thought. A mum's worst nightmare. I hope I've understood the story correctly but I think it's truly powerful.

CD

Dorte H sagde ...

Thank you, Jose Ignacio.

Clarissa: with an ending as open as this one I doubt there is any *correct* way of understanding it.

Beth F sagde ...

You can really set a mood in just a few words. Love it.

Rayna M. Iyer sagde ...

I checked to see if my kids were safe before commenting. Brilliant story.

Dorte H sagde ...

Beth: thank you! Pictures can be a great inspiration.

Rayna: I have been known to check my children were breathing after a nasty thriller movie ;D

Cathryn Grant sagde ...

I agree, that is very sinister.

Dorte H sagde ...

Thanks, Cathryn.