søndag den 1. november 2009

Spring Cleaning II

Well, for the benefit of Margot.

”I am damn sorry, but I don´t really believe in all this any more.”

“What do you mean?”

Larry indicates the red farm bathed in the April sun. “This. Us.” I have never noticed before that his shoulders stoop.

I plant the spade in the vegetable patch and lean against the handle. Nearly two hundred square metres newly dug mould.

”Well, it doesn´t really swing any more, does it? What I mean is, what is left between us, except work, work, work?”

And now I am supposed to start crying or yelling.

“Liz, for crap´s sake … You must also have noticed that the spark has gone. “

“Nope.” I am not looking at him but the farmhouse with the freshly painted windows.

“Oh, it is just impossible to discuss with you!” He has run out of words, and he turns around while I pull the spade out of the ground.

Afterwards I deliver him at the rubbish dump, nicely wrapped up in black plastic sacks labeled “organic waste”, before I return to my spring work.

Well, which one do you prefer?

8 kommentarer:

Anonym sagde ...

Dorte - This is great, too!!! Thanks for sharing it. Actually, both work quite well, depending on whether the novel itself has a dash of humor or not. Were I writing it, I'd choose your first one, becauase that's more my style. People like you who can integrate humor into a murder mystery have my deep admiration.

Dorte H sagde ...

Margot: I know the first one is the ´sober´ solution which is why I posted that one first. It was good to see that the hints were strong enough.

And this text is not part of anything longer, it is just a short exercise for my writing course. I was meant to focus on dialogue, but I am not known to adhere to the rules. Besides, you get more comments from other participants if you have a funny twist.

When I write novels, they do not include this type of humour.

The Old Silly sagde ...

I love humor in books - even in mystery/thrillers, really ... takes a special talent to be able to write effectively with humor and you have that so use it. And anyone who doesn't like humor in a book? Screw 'em it they can't take a joke! ;)

Marvin D Wilson

Dorte H sagde ...

Marvin, I am glad you like my twisted humour :D

Fortunately many of my blog readers seem to do.

I have never considered writing a humorous novel (not this sort of humour, at least), but somehow it does sneak in quite often when I write short stories and flash fiction.

Uriah Robinson sagde ...

I like the subtlety of the first one which makes the reader shiver a little.

Dorte H sagde ...

Norman: I know the first one is the best piece of work, yet I like my little joke.
But fortunately I could eat my cake and have it this time ;)

Anonym sagde ...

I love it!

Dorte H sagde ...

Cathryn: and I love your comment :D